The end of a year, whether it should or not is a whole different discussion, marks an end of a line in many instances, and is usually a good time to think about what you have done this year, and start all over again with what you want to do in the next period. As such, I want to elaborate mine in this dear blog post because a lot of things have changed since I started to really work on this website.
The start of this year was extremely tough. As I've implied in the past, I'm not the most stable person to exist, meaning that things can break me very easily, and while the first quarter started not so bad but also quickly began with a lot of pressure from the real life, it got worse nearing towards the end of the first quarter when a personal occurrence absolutely broke me. I'll not go into any detail since a) the details don't matter & b) it's a private thing, but the gist of it is it hit me hard, and the second quarter was one of the deepest timespans I've ever been through in my life.
Coming out of it was my main goal then, however, I had no idea how at the start of it. Fortunately, with the summer holidays kicking in, I began to realise how I can get out of such rabbit hole and how I can execute it, which lead to a larger success than I expected, and I began quickly to reach a more mature and happier state (the former doesn't matter as much though).
As the end of this year enters, it became very clear what I've achieved this year was decent enough but nothing to really be amazed off, so I was thinking, thinking of what I might have not done well enough or what I can do better. Obviously I can excuse myself for a number of reasons on why things might have went wrong, but what I want to avoid is to regress. It might sound like a wrong solution, but I feel like my past resolutions were finicky, so my plan with 2024 is to get over such attitude.
2024 will hopefully be the "year of aggression" for me, not in a violent manner to somebody, but rather in a metaphorical way in that I want to push myself to mitigations in my life, to commit an actual goal, and to go through all trouble to reach it. One of my worst habits is to not commit enough to a goal or a desire, and it has let me to some catastrophic failures. With all of that in mind, as little or big as these goals are, I'll commit to them now, else it'll be harder to get trough later on, and by now I actually mean it with high force, but firstly, I will take a look at my "goals" from January 1st 2023:
1. Findng more friends ;-;
I managed to find new friends :D, but also at the same time feel like my other friendships start to fade away, but another normal cycle of life I guess, so I'll take it.
2. Trying to do 10 push-ups every day
This is just preposterous and pointless. It's not enough of physical activity to just follow. In order to improve your physical health, it requires more than to just do 10 push-ups every day. The reason why I did it is to do a little bit of a physical activity, for which I have a much better solution.
3. Trying to brush my teeth 3 times a day
It was more or less a silly goal because my dentist told me I should brush my teeth 3 times a day. In the times where I was able to brush my teeth, I managed to brush it 2 - 3 times a day, which is not bad giving how it was just a goal for the sake of a joke, but I'm not complaining.
4. Working on my website more
Well I did work on it, but I feel like I can do much better, and fortunately, I'm about to. I already have some pending blog posts I forgot to upload (my bad), but I also started on some heavy blog posts and projects, which you might see soon :)
5. Learning to code
Failed, unless you consider configuration files as coding. It's one of those things that take a huge amount of the time, which I lack sometimes, and when I don't, I want to do different things. I did learn some C, but I forgot most of it already. Maybe I'll be able to learn how to code in the future when I'm done with everything else.
6. Eating less junk food
Failed. I know what I did wrong, which I'll mention later.
Whether succeeded or not, with the aforementioned goals, I want to step it up a fair bit. Like I said, I want to use aggression to actually make them possible, and who add up to a better life and much more peace of mind.
One of the best improvements in your life is to cut down on consumptions you don't need. In an age of infinite imaginations, it's important to understand the existentia of possibilities. You should not sink yourself in such extensive consumption to compensate say stress in your life. It might sound like I'm insane, but a lot of it has come down my experience with seeing many people not improving their lives just because of that reason.
Unfortunately, technology is the biggest consumption out of all of them, and uhm... I'm on such a device right now as of writing. That doesn't mean there're instantly bad and I shouldn't be using them because that sucks too, so what I'm about to do is to avoid things with little to no actual value to them. What I mean by that is what I don't get much out from it, I will just avoid. For instance, my website is highly valuable to me. It improves my writing, it gives me a space to mention my interests, it has taught me a lot of smaller details due to research, and it's just a great way to publish content I otherwise would've not been able to do. On the contrary, social media, even though I don't use it, gives me little to no value and just wastes my time. I don't """feel up to date""", I don't learn anything useful from it, and it goes against my philosophical ideologies after having used it in the past. With that in mind, here are the actual goals of accomplishing this:
As I'm in a young age, it's important from me to still learn through life. From what I know, people at younger ages can learn much faster than older people, and while I'm not too young, I'm also not too old, which is a point in life where you feel like already learned a lot, but in reality, there's a lot more you need to learn.
Though I believe it's not really what I need to learn at the moment since the natural mature growth will come naturally in the future. What I should really work on is my languages. If I haven't mentioned it already, English isn't my first language, matter of fact, it's my third language (I'll reveal the two other language in future blog posts, but you might already know them), and yet I struggle with my second and especially first even language more than with English. While I'm decent at English, I notice a lot more problems in my two other languages. How come?
Where I live at the moment is not where my parents used to live. They came from a different country, so they had their own struggles with learning a new language coming to this country. Why this is important is because my parents taught me their native language first, which I really could only use to talk to my parents. Their motive was that I'd later learn the country's language entering the kindergarten, however, I only started talking at the age of 4, where I also entered the kindergarten, so I barely used my supposed native language in the past, and when I did start to talk, I had to learn a complete new language. Because I'm a boy and I was stupid, instead of noticing the difference between those two language, I used both language at the same time without knowing the difference between the two, so I was for example using one language's nouns for another language. As a result, I didn't really learn my first and second language, and still to this day, I'm not working much on it, whereas with English, I had to learn it from scratch, knowing that it was something entirely different from the other two language, so I actually learned the language, not just in a school manner, but in a more or less native manner and I'm still doing it to this day. While there're probably 1000 mistakes in my blog post, I'm working on it: Learning more proficient words, using different sentence structures, and applying correct commas. None of these things have I really done to my two other languages. The reason why is because I was afraid to worsen my English as a result since I had the belief that I should know these languages well enough already.
So, as a goal for 2024, I'll start learning those two languages because while English is more demanding than those two other languages, it's not like I can just avoid the two other languages. I'll maybe try to use computer tools for that, but I don't want to mainly use those because it's not the only resource in my hands.
While I'm in the subject of education already, I'm still in school, and while people have recommended me to drop out as I'm old enough to do that, I don't think it's worth it for my future life. But what I have to do now is to deal with school because my biggest problem with school is dealing with it. I hate school. The things it has done to me are immortal, but instead of working on making school slightly better for me, I avoided it, making things even worse. It's a problem to this day, and it's hard to find a solution because school usually robs a lot of valuable free time, which I don't want to lose. My solutions are finicky, but should improve the state of it slightly better.
For example, when I have to do homework or when I didn't understand a topic well enough in the lessons, I'll do it at home the day it happened. I procrastinate a lot, hence why delay such things to the very end of a deadline. Speaking of a deadline, special tasks like presentations or learning for exams happened on the very last day before it for me. I want to change it. My plan looks like this:
A lot of these problems are at home because in school I pretty much know what to do already.
If there's any remaining time for it, I'll learn how to code. The way I'll learn how to code is to read manuals & watch videos, note those things down and document them in my own words and apply a real world example with this paradigm. When I started to learn C, this strategy worked well enough, so I'll keep it.
As ironic as it sounds, with the goal of pushing through ambitions, I want to improve my state of health as much as I can. It might sound like an average new year resolution because it is, so my goal was not to overwhelm myself, but rather to take simpler steps to be somewhat healthier. I'm keeping this quite brief because it's nothing too concerning if I fail to not achieve it as I'm not really in a critical physical state.
As I was saying, I never wanted to become jacked. My only real goal was to not let myself get into a cycle of no physical activity. As I spend a lot of time on a computer at home, and if you are doing that for an insane amount of time, it's recommended to at least do a slight physical activity, hence the 10 push-ups goal last year. The problem is I wasn't really feeling a benefit from it, but I did find an alternative: Every day, I'm gonna try to just take a walk. No, seriously. My goal will be to take a walk every day. I already have to take a long road to school, in which I much rather walk to school instead, however, whenever I don't have any school, I'm almost never go outside, meaning that I'll just go outside, and walk somewhere.
Last but not least, I failed to eat healthier last year, but I actually regret it now that the year's over. Ever since 2022, I have experienced a lot of stomach aches, and in 2023, I came to the conclusion that it has to do something with stress or my diet, and for 2024, I'll try to take more care towards it. Of course, I'm not gonna be able to fully cut unhealthy food out, but what I am gonna do is to avoid it whenever I can.
With that in mind, happy new year! :)